I've become frustrated with focusing all my energy on one person unsuccessfully. I would like to find someone who enjoys my company, and will commit to it. I just want a companion. That is the problem with people nowadays is that they don't want to commit and dedicate themselves to anything. Relationships are fleeting to people of my generation. We live in a distracted world, where everyone is always focused on the latest sensation or recent piece of technology. People get bored and move onto the next thing. Relationships are bust.
And yet, for some reason, the romantic in me continues to believe that there is someone out there for me. I am the Hopeful Romantic.
I haven't much experience with dating. As a teenager, I was a misfit, very uncool, and very lonely. The few so-called relationships I had were short lived. The only person I actually dated and had a serious relationship with is still one of my best friends.
I'm just getting into the whole dating world in my 20s. It's interesting, scary, weird, and fun all at the same time. I am very selective about who I meet. Sometimes I meet other people through friends. The internet also provides new ways for people to meet and has resulted in many people finding something special with one another. I am keeping my options open. I am also cautious. I am taking my time and won't settle for any turkey who happens to land at my doorstep.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Syracuse Gay Pride 2009
Yesterday was my 11th time in a row going to the Pride Parade and Festival in Syracuse. Last year was the only time I can recall that it didn't rain. Usually, it rains for a little while and then the sun comes out and we're treated to an auspicious rainbow. But this year it poured all day. It literally put a damper on the festivities. This didn't stop some people from walking around the festival shirtless.
Despite the weather, the event still had a great turnout. It is wonderful to reunite with people you don't get to see often. I usually say that it is "like a big, gay family reunion." It is also fun to people-watch. There are all kinds of interesting, colorful people having a great time. Many people dress up for the occasion, and I've seen some pretty creative get-ups.
The event began at City Hall with a speech from Syracuse Common Councilor and Mayoral Candidate Stephanie Miner, followed by the raising of the rainbow flag. The parade traveled along a lavender line painted in the road, ending at the festival at the Everson Plaza. Festivities continued throughout the day, concluding with after-parties at various bars. I didn't go out to the bars. I just wanted to get out of the rain.
Stephanie Miner speaking at City Hall
Despite the weather, the event still had a great turnout. It is wonderful to reunite with people you don't get to see often. I usually say that it is "like a big, gay family reunion." It is also fun to people-watch. There are all kinds of interesting, colorful people having a great time. Many people dress up for the occasion, and I've seen some pretty creative get-ups.
The event began at City Hall with a speech from Syracuse Common Councilor and Mayoral Candidate Stephanie Miner, followed by the raising of the rainbow flag. The parade traveled along a lavender line painted in the road, ending at the festival at the Everson Plaza. Festivities continued throughout the day, concluding with after-parties at various bars. I didn't go out to the bars. I just wanted to get out of the rain.
Stephanie Miner speaking at City Hall
Friday, June 5, 2009
St. Peter's Church and El Diablo
As I was walking home last night, I walked past St. Peter's Church on James St. The church has been closed for some time, and there are For Sale signs on the property. I always thought it was such a shame that that little church closed. It was a nice Italian church (one of many churches on James St.). There has been little activity around the church since it closed, save for the birds that still sing in the pine and birch trees in front.
As I walked by, I happened to notice that a light was on. I thought that I should take a look, although I almost second guessed myself. What if people should see me? They might think I'm breaking in. My curiosity got the best of me, so I cautiously walked up the steps and looked in the front door.
No one was in sight. I could see the altar and the crucifix above, and a few rows of pews. It was so beautiful. Finding such beauty in simplicity is humbling. It touches the core of one's soul in a unique, profound way.
I then remembered that I was listening to music on my MP3 player as I was walking, and I realized what I was listening to and how ironic it was. "El Diablo" by Grace Slick. Music has a funny way of coinciding with all events of my life. In light of the fact that I was standing in front of a church and just stumbled across something special, I respectfully changed the song, even though it is an incredible song. I opted instead for "Gypsy" and "Sara" by Fleetwood Mac, back to back, and continued walking, feeling a little bit better about myself. Nothing like church to make one feel uplifted and refreshed.
I hope the lights are on again next time I walk past. I'd like to take a picture.
As I walked by, I happened to notice that a light was on. I thought that I should take a look, although I almost second guessed myself. What if people should see me? They might think I'm breaking in. My curiosity got the best of me, so I cautiously walked up the steps and looked in the front door.
No one was in sight. I could see the altar and the crucifix above, and a few rows of pews. It was so beautiful. Finding such beauty in simplicity is humbling. It touches the core of one's soul in a unique, profound way.
I then remembered that I was listening to music on my MP3 player as I was walking, and I realized what I was listening to and how ironic it was. "El Diablo" by Grace Slick. Music has a funny way of coinciding with all events of my life. In light of the fact that I was standing in front of a church and just stumbled across something special, I respectfully changed the song, even though it is an incredible song. I opted instead for "Gypsy" and "Sara" by Fleetwood Mac, back to back, and continued walking, feeling a little bit better about myself. Nothing like church to make one feel uplifted and refreshed.
I hope the lights are on again next time I walk past. I'd like to take a picture.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I was approached by a drunk hooker
I was just approached by a drunk, blond hooker in her 40s.
I just left my friend's house, and I was walking up the street to catch my bus. I was listening to Bob Dylan on my MP3 player. All of a sudden, this hideous, skanky looking woman appears out of the shadows and walks up to me. She had straggly blond hair, thick, black eye liner, and tight pants. I pause my music and take out my earbud so I can hear her. She said to me, "Why the fuck are all these stores closed? I want a beer!" I commented that the store directly across the street from us was also closed. She said, "Well, they need to open the fuck back up because I want a beer!" As I slowly back away and attempt to escape, I said that one of the stores around here must be open. She muttered something about the store up the street, but I really didn't care. She asked me if I had a cigarette, and I told her I don't smoke. Then she asks me, "Well, do you have $1.50?" I told her that I just had what I had. And she turned and looked at me and said, "And what's that?" I said, "Enough to get home."
She continued to mutter something, and then proceeded to walk up the street in the same direction I was going. I walked behind her, far enough so I didn't have to associate with her. I put on my music again and continued to watch this strange woman in front of me, and Dylan's words were right on cue, almost as if this were a scene of a movie and his words were the soundtrack:
"And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you're gonna have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?"
As she was walking up the street, a blue car stopped and she ran up and got in the vehicle. The car drove for about 15 seconds, and then pulled up to the corner. The woman got out of the car and continued to walk up the street. As the driver took off he shouted, "GET OFF THE FUCKING STREET!"
I was already at the bus stop watching all this happen, and thank goodness she continued going in the other direction instead of turning and going my way. Two minutes later, the bus arrived, and I was relieved to be off the street. As soon as I got home, I called my friend immediately and told him what happened. He laughed and said, "You sure know how to attract them! People tell me these things that happen to them all the time. Nothing like that ever happens to me."
Great. Why do I have to attract all the freaks?
I just left my friend's house, and I was walking up the street to catch my bus. I was listening to Bob Dylan on my MP3 player. All of a sudden, this hideous, skanky looking woman appears out of the shadows and walks up to me. She had straggly blond hair, thick, black eye liner, and tight pants. I pause my music and take out my earbud so I can hear her. She said to me, "Why the fuck are all these stores closed? I want a beer!" I commented that the store directly across the street from us was also closed. She said, "Well, they need to open the fuck back up because I want a beer!" As I slowly back away and attempt to escape, I said that one of the stores around here must be open. She muttered something about the store up the street, but I really didn't care. She asked me if I had a cigarette, and I told her I don't smoke. Then she asks me, "Well, do you have $1.50?" I told her that I just had what I had. And she turned and looked at me and said, "And what's that?" I said, "Enough to get home."
She continued to mutter something, and then proceeded to walk up the street in the same direction I was going. I walked behind her, far enough so I didn't have to associate with her. I put on my music again and continued to watch this strange woman in front of me, and Dylan's words were right on cue, almost as if this were a scene of a movie and his words were the soundtrack:
"And nobody has ever taught you how to live on the street
And now you find out you're gonna have to get used to it
You said you'd never compromise
With the mystery tramp, but now you realize
He's not selling any alibis
As you stare into the vacuum of his eyes
And ask him do you want to make a deal?
How does it feel
How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?"
As she was walking up the street, a blue car stopped and she ran up and got in the vehicle. The car drove for about 15 seconds, and then pulled up to the corner. The woman got out of the car and continued to walk up the street. As the driver took off he shouted, "GET OFF THE FUCKING STREET!"
I was already at the bus stop watching all this happen, and thank goodness she continued going in the other direction instead of turning and going my way. Two minutes later, the bus arrived, and I was relieved to be off the street. As soon as I got home, I called my friend immediately and told him what happened. He laughed and said, "You sure know how to attract them! People tell me these things that happen to them all the time. Nothing like that ever happens to me."
Great. Why do I have to attract all the freaks?
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Taking a tumble
You often hear stories about people slipping and falling in the shower. As far as I know, it's never happened to anyone I know, and I never thought it would happen to me. Needless to say, I was surprised when I went face first this morning.
I had just finished my shower, and I was holding onto the curtain rod for no more than a few seconds when the whole thing just collapsed and fell off the wall, and down I went, to the floor with a crash. I'm glad I just relaxed my body and just let myself fall instead of resisting, because if I resisted the fall I would have hurt myself even more. As I got up, I dried myself off and checked for injuries. I felt a few bruises, but nothing major. When I looked down at my knee, I saw a nice bloody gash. It didn't hurt or anything, although now that I'm cleaning it off it does sting a little. I began to laugh because of the ridiculousness of the situation (the curtain rod coming off the wall) and the fact that it took me by surprise. I thought it was such a strange incident that I decided to mark the occasion by taking pictures of my bloody knee (I know, I'm strange).
Now I have a nice little gash on my left knee and a bathtub without a shower curtain. Now I'll have to take baths instead of showers.
Moral of story: Never hold onto the shower curtain rod, especially if you're uncertain how stable it is.
I had just finished my shower, and I was holding onto the curtain rod for no more than a few seconds when the whole thing just collapsed and fell off the wall, and down I went, to the floor with a crash. I'm glad I just relaxed my body and just let myself fall instead of resisting, because if I resisted the fall I would have hurt myself even more. As I got up, I dried myself off and checked for injuries. I felt a few bruises, but nothing major. When I looked down at my knee, I saw a nice bloody gash. It didn't hurt or anything, although now that I'm cleaning it off it does sting a little. I began to laugh because of the ridiculousness of the situation (the curtain rod coming off the wall) and the fact that it took me by surprise. I thought it was such a strange incident that I decided to mark the occasion by taking pictures of my bloody knee (I know, I'm strange).
Now I have a nice little gash on my left knee and a bathtub without a shower curtain. Now I'll have to take baths instead of showers.
Moral of story: Never hold onto the shower curtain rod, especially if you're uncertain how stable it is.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Winter in Syracuse
My last blog entry was six months ago, in the summer. It is now the middle of December and Christmas is right around the corner. Winter has arrived in Syracuse. This city is know for it's cold, brutal winters. The weather here sucks. Fortunately, it is still early in the season and things aren't that bad yet. The worst is yet to come. Syracuse only has two seasons: Winter and road construction.
Right now it is clearly winter. Here's what it looks like out on my street at 12:50 AM:
Right now it is clearly winter. Here's what it looks like out on my street at 12:50 AM:
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Pride '08 under the blaring sun
I meant to write this blog sooner, things have just been so busy around here. There have been a lot of people coming and going. Now that the bodies have finally filtered out, I actually have a chance to sit down and write.Central New York GLBT Pride was on Saturday, June 7. This is my tenth year going to the Pride event. Donny went with me for the first time. Some of his teachers and fellow students went, as well, and he got to see them there. He knew more people there than I did! He marched in the parade with me and Jonathan, and he had a blast all day. I took lots of pictures.
The only problem was that it was so hot. Walking around in 90 degree weather all day can be tiring. We did a lot of walking, because after wandering around the Pride event for a few hours, we also went to the Youth Pride event at the Q Center. I've never seen Donny have so much fun! I'm glad he came along. Later, Jonathan and I came back to the festival to watch Sister Funk perform the last few songs of their set. Most people had gone home by then. So we went home to relax in the air conditioning. It was a fun weekend.
The beginning of this week was a scorcher. It was so damn hot. And then the storm hit us suddenly, and left just as quickly as it came. The downtown farmer's market started Tuesday, and I'm glad I went through there when I did, because if I had stayed there another 15 minutes, I would have been blown away. When I went into work, I was up on the 10th floor and there were plastic bags and things flying around. Potted plants were tossed about. People raced to save their fruits and vegetables. I feel bad for them. I hope they didn't lose too much money. What a bad way to start the farmer's market season. I hope next week is better for them.
Now the weather is nice. The sky is bright, blue, and clear, and the temperature has cooled off significantly. I guess we needed that storm to break the heat. Now all is back to normal. Not only has the weather quieted down, my apartment has quieted down, as well. I've had a lot of company lately. But at least now my apartment's clean. It looks great. I can actually have guests over now. But for now I need some peace and quiet for a few days.
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